3.02.2007
a character
She is so quiet. It is uncanny. Her silence seems to either stem from some sort of discipline that she required at a young age, or some fear or social deficiency that until now wasn't an issue. It is an intimidating silence. One fears to approach her. She is unaware of this shield around her. She is confused by it. A few brave souls have been able to break the barier and commence in some form of conversation that is soon lost. As far as i know nobody has been able to actually TALK to her...Real communication...Not the meaningless banter of everyday communication, TRUE COMMUNICATION. I feel as though she has found something. She knows something, she's figured it out. While others around her ignore it or continue to strive for it she sits, contemplative, examining what she has found. Testing it. I think if one could get inside her head one would find an understanding and peace that one has never experienced.
1.23.2007
Odyssey Test
1. What have you learned about Greek culture, values, and religion? Addresss the roles of women and men, honor and virtues, gods and goddesses, etc.
In Greek culture there is definitely a very strict caste system. There are the beggars, then the upper class, then the Gods. Within the upper class there are the children, then the women, then the men. Within the Gods there are those who dwell on Mount Olympus but are not truly gods, there are minor gods, there are major gods, and then there’s Zeus. This seems to be greatly exemplified in the Odyssey.
Another large part of Greek culture is the Gods. The gods rule over everything, they dictate the lives of the men. Any man who defies the gods is struck down and severely punished (such as Odysseus). As far as I can tell, the gods are just in their rulings, only getting out of line on occasion, to pursue their own interests. One thing about the Greek gods that seems to make them stick out is that they are not perfect. They bicker and argue amongst themselves, they fall in love, they become jealous, or happy, or angry. The gods of other cultures are so almighty and so distant from the activities of men that their existence is brought into question. In Judaism, Christianity, Islam and other religions God is considered this perfect divine being who is all-knowing and all-powerful. God appears as infallible and never prone to such faults as emotion. There’s such a large gap between God and the humans that a lot of people don’t believe in Him or Her. This belief that the Gods were so close to the humans and intertwined in their affairs is what I think helped the Greek culture thrive as it did.
2. What resonated with you in reading about Odysseus' adventures? Why?
My favorite parts of the Odyssey are all the encounters with the mythological creatures and the gods. I loved hearing about the Cyclops, the Scylla, the Nymphs, and the Sirens. I have always liked Greek mythology and used to read many anthologies of old Greek tales. My favorite is the one about Icarus and his father. Basically, a man and his son Icarus were imprisoned in this really high tower for some reason or another, and they had no way of escaping. So the father pretended that his son was sick, and continued asking the guards to bring in feather blankets to keep him warm. Then, he used the feathers in the blankets to fashion two sets of wings for him and his son. They were going to fly out of their window and escape the tower. So they did, and everything was going smoothly, until Icarus started to get cocky. He began flying higher and higher, wanting more. Eventually he flew so high that he was too close to the sun and the wax that held the feathers of his wings together began to melt. His wings slowly fell apart and he fell to his death.
3. This epic poem is dated nearly 3000 years ago, why is it still relevant?
The Odyssey, although thousands of years old, remains a part of our culture for numerous reasons. Although culture, technology, landscape, and knowledge are constantly changing throughout the timespan of our existence, humans will always remain primarily the same. We will all still act the same and respond the same to the same situations. While the Odyssey is an adventure story on the surface, it is primarily about people. It follows one man and watches him change over time. It is a study, almost, of the development of human beings through their lifetimes. Since human beings don’t really change, it is just as interesting and compelling in the present as it was 3000 years ago. Also, it is just intriguing to archeologists and historians alike to study and discover things about an unknown man who compiled two of the greatest stories ever told. It has always been a hobby of men to delve into their past and study what comes up.
4. How would you characterize the narrator, the fictive "Homer" whose voice we imagine as singing the verses of the Odyssey?
I always thought of Homer as an old man. He would be at that age that one would consider old, yet still in good health. He would have a long white beard dangling from his chin, and some strands of white hair would stick out of his otherwise bald head. His eyes would be bright green. He would wear a small, torn cloth wrapped around his body and would be constantly shivering. I guess he could have a cane that he would hobble around on, but when he began telling his stories he would cast it aside with a sudden flow of energy. As the old man spoke, he would make large gestures in the air to illustrate what he was talking about, and he would even acquire different voices for the different characters in the story. Homer would speak with confidence, he would let loose a loud and booming voice that would seem to resonate outward no matter where he stood. He would speak as if he were aware of his greatness, in the humblest manner, and he knew that his stories would last for thousands of years.
5. What kinds of behavior are treated as contemptible in the Odyssey?
The behaviors that are treated contemptible in the Odyssey are the same behaviors that are treated contemptible in any story or in real life. Thievery, greed, lust, ignorance, pride, and impatience are just a few. The main behavior that seems to be more magnified than the others is pride.
6. How does the poem represent mortal women? Since Penelope is the most important woman in the Odyssey, what qualities does she possess, and how does she respond to the troubles she faces? (Some of the other women are of note, too-Eurycleia is the serving woman, the faithless maidservants, Nausicaa the Phaecian princess, and Helen of Sparta,
Menelaus' queen, whose elopement with Prince Paris sparked the Trojan War.
The poem represents (mortal) women as either caring, loving, gentle creatures who care only about serving their husbands, or as impudent idiots who cause horrible things to happen. In general, it makes women seem lower than men.
7. How do Homer's gods think and behave? How do their actions and motivations differ from the conception of god in other religions of which you have knowledge? What role do the Homeric gods play in human affairs, and what is the responsibility of humans with respect to those gods?
Homers gods are much more involved with the people, and they play bigger roles in the happenings of men. They are also not perfect. They are succeptible to emotions and this causes them to not always make the best choices. Humans have less freedom as well, with the Homeric gods. With the gods meddling in their affairs, the people have less of a say as to what will happen to them. They must obey the will of the gods or they will get struck down.
In Greek culture there is definitely a very strict caste system. There are the beggars, then the upper class, then the Gods. Within the upper class there are the children, then the women, then the men. Within the Gods there are those who dwell on Mount Olympus but are not truly gods, there are minor gods, there are major gods, and then there’s Zeus. This seems to be greatly exemplified in the Odyssey.
Another large part of Greek culture is the Gods. The gods rule over everything, they dictate the lives of the men. Any man who defies the gods is struck down and severely punished (such as Odysseus). As far as I can tell, the gods are just in their rulings, only getting out of line on occasion, to pursue their own interests. One thing about the Greek gods that seems to make them stick out is that they are not perfect. They bicker and argue amongst themselves, they fall in love, they become jealous, or happy, or angry. The gods of other cultures are so almighty and so distant from the activities of men that their existence is brought into question. In Judaism, Christianity, Islam and other religions God is considered this perfect divine being who is all-knowing and all-powerful. God appears as infallible and never prone to such faults as emotion. There’s such a large gap between God and the humans that a lot of people don’t believe in Him or Her. This belief that the Gods were so close to the humans and intertwined in their affairs is what I think helped the Greek culture thrive as it did.
2. What resonated with you in reading about Odysseus' adventures? Why?
My favorite parts of the Odyssey are all the encounters with the mythological creatures and the gods. I loved hearing about the Cyclops, the Scylla, the Nymphs, and the Sirens. I have always liked Greek mythology and used to read many anthologies of old Greek tales. My favorite is the one about Icarus and his father. Basically, a man and his son Icarus were imprisoned in this really high tower for some reason or another, and they had no way of escaping. So the father pretended that his son was sick, and continued asking the guards to bring in feather blankets to keep him warm. Then, he used the feathers in the blankets to fashion two sets of wings for him and his son. They were going to fly out of their window and escape the tower. So they did, and everything was going smoothly, until Icarus started to get cocky. He began flying higher and higher, wanting more. Eventually he flew so high that he was too close to the sun and the wax that held the feathers of his wings together began to melt. His wings slowly fell apart and he fell to his death.
3. This epic poem is dated nearly 3000 years ago, why is it still relevant?
The Odyssey, although thousands of years old, remains a part of our culture for numerous reasons. Although culture, technology, landscape, and knowledge are constantly changing throughout the timespan of our existence, humans will always remain primarily the same. We will all still act the same and respond the same to the same situations. While the Odyssey is an adventure story on the surface, it is primarily about people. It follows one man and watches him change over time. It is a study, almost, of the development of human beings through their lifetimes. Since human beings don’t really change, it is just as interesting and compelling in the present as it was 3000 years ago. Also, it is just intriguing to archeologists and historians alike to study and discover things about an unknown man who compiled two of the greatest stories ever told. It has always been a hobby of men to delve into their past and study what comes up.
4. How would you characterize the narrator, the fictive "Homer" whose voice we imagine as singing the verses of the Odyssey?
I always thought of Homer as an old man. He would be at that age that one would consider old, yet still in good health. He would have a long white beard dangling from his chin, and some strands of white hair would stick out of his otherwise bald head. His eyes would be bright green. He would wear a small, torn cloth wrapped around his body and would be constantly shivering. I guess he could have a cane that he would hobble around on, but when he began telling his stories he would cast it aside with a sudden flow of energy. As the old man spoke, he would make large gestures in the air to illustrate what he was talking about, and he would even acquire different voices for the different characters in the story. Homer would speak with confidence, he would let loose a loud and booming voice that would seem to resonate outward no matter where he stood. He would speak as if he were aware of his greatness, in the humblest manner, and he knew that his stories would last for thousands of years.
5. What kinds of behavior are treated as contemptible in the Odyssey?
The behaviors that are treated contemptible in the Odyssey are the same behaviors that are treated contemptible in any story or in real life. Thievery, greed, lust, ignorance, pride, and impatience are just a few. The main behavior that seems to be more magnified than the others is pride.
6. How does the poem represent mortal women? Since Penelope is the most important woman in the Odyssey, what qualities does she possess, and how does she respond to the troubles she faces? (Some of the other women are of note, too-Eurycleia is the serving woman, the faithless maidservants, Nausicaa the Phaecian princess, and Helen of Sparta,
Menelaus' queen, whose elopement with Prince Paris sparked the Trojan War.
The poem represents (mortal) women as either caring, loving, gentle creatures who care only about serving their husbands, or as impudent idiots who cause horrible things to happen. In general, it makes women seem lower than men.
7. How do Homer's gods think and behave? How do their actions and motivations differ from the conception of god in other religions of which you have knowledge? What role do the Homeric gods play in human affairs, and what is the responsibility of humans with respect to those gods?
Homers gods are much more involved with the people, and they play bigger roles in the happenings of men. They are also not perfect. They are succeptible to emotions and this causes them to not always make the best choices. Humans have less freedom as well, with the Homeric gods. With the gods meddling in their affairs, the people have less of a say as to what will happen to them. They must obey the will of the gods or they will get struck down.
12.07.2006
Response to Waking Life and Eternal Sunshine
Waking Life basically gave me a whole new perspective on...everything. It helped me question things a little easier. Some of the philosophies really stuck in my head. Also I really loved the animation technique. I had heard of (and seen) rotoscoping before but never anything like that. I liked how flat and drawn everything was, how painted it felt. It made me say something along the lines of "Holy ****, maybe everything is wrong."
Although Sunshine wasn't quite as collossal and deep, it was incredibly well directed. The special effects were put into use very well and it was all very surreal (the way it was shot) and trippy. It also had some great actors. Jim Carey is incredibly talented, along with that other guy who always gets stuck in those crappy chick flicks (he was in 13 going on 30 and Just Like Heaven and Rumor Has It). He was the eraser who jumped on the bed with Kirsten Dunst (sp?). She is also pretty good, except for in Spiderman. She sucked in Spiderman. Also Elijah Wood was in it and he is AWESOME! Seriously man, Elijah Wood is one of the greatest actors of all time, along with George Clooney and Jonny Depp.
Okay, back to Waking Life. I know I'm skipping around but whatever. Waking Life made me think. I thought about the basic outline of the movie, which to me is "What if what you are experiencing right now is a dream?" Not a dream in the traditional sense, but just not reality. What if what we have been experiencing as dreams is the true reality? Or maybe there is no traditional reality and reality is just what you make of it? What if I am the only concious being in this reality and everything around me I created myself? They say that you only use about 5% of your brain capacity, so what is the other 5% doing? Could it be conjuring up a reality to feed to you? But why? Maybe it's because I need this false sense of trueness to survive? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know (saying it three times helps). Thousands of years ago people KNEW the world was flat. Then the KNEW the Earth was the center of the Universe. Now we KNOW that it's part of a solar system and we are nowhere near the center of the universe. But what do we really know? How can we obtain any true knowledge? How do we access clean, untampered, untouched TRUTH? All knowledge that we contain has been dilluted like mud in water. There have been separate interpretations, emotions, lies, mistakes mixed into the fact. It's not true anymore.
I think this is mans ultimate and pointless goal. I think man exists to obtain TRUE knowledge, but when man finds it, then what? Share it with the rest of the world? that would dillute it just like the rest of the knowledge out there. Even finding it would dillute it. To obtain what we want we must destroy it, therefore our goal is ultimately impossible. I think the solution to this problem is manifested in man's "God". I think "God" could be considered the "clean man" one who would not dilute the TRUTH if they were to come upon it.
However in contradiction, can this "clean man" even be considered a man? In order to obtain this state of clean one would essentially have to lose the very thing that makes them human. Imperfection. And in doing so they would no longer be considered Man, and Man would not have obtained the TRUTH. It is a harsh paradox that sees no end. I think the paradoxicality of this situation is intentional, it is impossible so Man will always have something to strive for, a reason for existence. And that's all we really want. All we really want when it's all said and done is a reason.
Although Sunshine wasn't quite as collossal and deep, it was incredibly well directed. The special effects were put into use very well and it was all very surreal (the way it was shot) and trippy. It also had some great actors. Jim Carey is incredibly talented, along with that other guy who always gets stuck in those crappy chick flicks (he was in 13 going on 30 and Just Like Heaven and Rumor Has It). He was the eraser who jumped on the bed with Kirsten Dunst (sp?). She is also pretty good, except for in Spiderman. She sucked in Spiderman. Also Elijah Wood was in it and he is AWESOME! Seriously man, Elijah Wood is one of the greatest actors of all time, along with George Clooney and Jonny Depp.
Okay, back to Waking Life. I know I'm skipping around but whatever. Waking Life made me think. I thought about the basic outline of the movie, which to me is "What if what you are experiencing right now is a dream?" Not a dream in the traditional sense, but just not reality. What if what we have been experiencing as dreams is the true reality? Or maybe there is no traditional reality and reality is just what you make of it? What if I am the only concious being in this reality and everything around me I created myself? They say that you only use about 5% of your brain capacity, so what is the other 5% doing? Could it be conjuring up a reality to feed to you? But why? Maybe it's because I need this false sense of trueness to survive? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know (saying it three times helps). Thousands of years ago people KNEW the world was flat. Then the KNEW the Earth was the center of the Universe. Now we KNOW that it's part of a solar system and we are nowhere near the center of the universe. But what do we really know? How can we obtain any true knowledge? How do we access clean, untampered, untouched TRUTH? All knowledge that we contain has been dilluted like mud in water. There have been separate interpretations, emotions, lies, mistakes mixed into the fact. It's not true anymore.
I think this is mans ultimate and pointless goal. I think man exists to obtain TRUE knowledge, but when man finds it, then what? Share it with the rest of the world? that would dillute it just like the rest of the knowledge out there. Even finding it would dillute it. To obtain what we want we must destroy it, therefore our goal is ultimately impossible. I think the solution to this problem is manifested in man's "God". I think "God" could be considered the "clean man" one who would not dilute the TRUTH if they were to come upon it.
However in contradiction, can this "clean man" even be considered a man? In order to obtain this state of clean one would essentially have to lose the very thing that makes them human. Imperfection. And in doing so they would no longer be considered Man, and Man would not have obtained the TRUTH. It is a harsh paradox that sees no end. I think the paradoxicality of this situation is intentional, it is impossible so Man will always have something to strive for, a reason for existence. And that's all we really want. All we really want when it's all said and done is a reason.
Similarities in Miyazaki films
Okay Miyazaki has made a ton of movies in his career and they all seem to have some sort of similarity. First off there is always a strong female character. Usually the main character is female but if they aren't then the secondary one is. Second there is always a war beginning, ending, or going on. Usually the main characters don't really care about the war, it is a background plot. Also there is a very distinct style of animation that is inherent in all of Miyazakis works. They all also contain strangely similar looking and sounding old ladies, most of which are nice. There is always a distinction (with the exception of Princess Mononoke) between the 'good guys' and the 'bad guys'. Also all his american translations of his movies are done by Disney and they usually use a couple of famous actors to do some voices. Miyazaki hates Disney though...
11.15.2006
An Execution-Journal 11/13/06
The warehouse was huge, cavernous. There were about six naked lightbulbs hanging by their chords from the roof, barely illuminating the three figures that stood facing each other in the middle of the floor.
"He must die." The first one stated. He was wearing a business suit with a skinny black tie wrapped around his neck. Although it was already very dim inside the building he wore pitch black, thick-framed sunglasses. He carried a leather briefcase in his left hand.
"Of course. He deserves it after what he did." The second man was wearing a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. A black leather belt held up his tight-fitting blue jeans. He had long, wavy black hair that curled down his head and rested on his thin shoulders. His shirt and pants were stained in various places with paint, and he held a paintbrush in his left hand. The two men turned to the third person, a woman, expecting her to say something.
The middle-aged woman merely adjusted the white pearls that hung around her throat and flattened a crease in the white polka-dotted blue dress that reached her bare ankles. The two men went back to talking.
"Although we all agree that he must die, we should still determine it righteously. That is to say, we should still go about the process of justifying his execution." The man in the suit said.
"You're right." The painter said. "So, what did he do?"
"He killed her."
"Who?"
"You know who."
"Yes but for the sake of justification, we must state exactly who he killed."
"Why, there is no one here to hear it but us, and we already know."
"You are scared of speaking her name, aren't you?"
"What? That's ludicrous!" Then suddenly, the woman began to speak. Her voice was clear, crisp. It echoed through the warehouse as she spoke.
"You are both pathetic. You are afraid of speaking the name of your own lover, and you are so inept to kill a man that you must verbalize some sort of justification."
"I'm not afraid to speak her name! I just don't see the point!" the painter yelled. While he did so, the man in the suit stood completely still, shocked.
"Wait, what do you mean 'your lover'?
"I mean the woman he loves, what the hell do you think I mean?"
"You bastard, that was my wife!" The man in the suit screamed at the painter.
"Your wife? She was my wife!"
"What the hell are you talking about, you son of a bitch!" As the man in the suit spoke he ripped open his suitcase and yanked out the pistol that he had contained in it. One, two, three, four, five shots rang out, echoing in the depths of the warehouse. The painter fell to the floor, the paintbrush that he carried rolling out of his hands. It was stained red. With paint or blood, none would know.
As the man in the suit stood, poised, with his arm outstretched, holding the smoking gun, he slowly cocked his head toward the woman. She was crouched down, one hand over her head, the other fingering the white pearls around her throat. Sure that the gunfire was over, she stood, shaking.
"What was your wife's name?" Her voice quivered as she spoke. Right as the man spoke, lightning flashed outside and thunder roared as the first raindrops fell on the tin roof of the warehouse. His voice was lost in the noise. "The painter's wife was named Michelle, you fool."
The man in the suit was dumbstruck, he fell to his knees in utter awe.
"I killed him. I killed him for no reason." he slowly turned his head to the body laying inert on the floor. Once his gaze finally fell upon the lifeless corpse, he was suddenly animated. Leaping up, he grabbed the gun and pointed it at the lady. "And you saw it. You saw it all. I should kill you. I have to kill you." The woman staggered backwards, studdering.
"W-wait," she stammered, "I w-won't tell anyone. I p-promise. It's not my fault he's dead, you're the one who refused to say her name. If you had only s-said your wifes name then y-you both would have realized that th-they were two different people. It's not my fault." The mans eyes widened and his pupils dialated as this utter truth roared through his brain. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. The rain had increased to a deafening roar as it slammed against the tin roof. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. "NO!" he screamed. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" The sound of the bullet flying out of the barrel of the gun and ripping through the lady's body was lost in a sudden deafening clash of thunder and lightning. When she fell her necklace broke, her pearls spilling out onto the cement floor and clattering about. The man in the suit took off his sunglasses, revealing bright pale blue eyes. He waited for the last pearl to stop rolling before shoving the gun back in his breifcase and trudging out into the rain.
"He must die." The first one stated. He was wearing a business suit with a skinny black tie wrapped around his neck. Although it was already very dim inside the building he wore pitch black, thick-framed sunglasses. He carried a leather briefcase in his left hand.
"Of course. He deserves it after what he did." The second man was wearing a white collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up. A black leather belt held up his tight-fitting blue jeans. He had long, wavy black hair that curled down his head and rested on his thin shoulders. His shirt and pants were stained in various places with paint, and he held a paintbrush in his left hand. The two men turned to the third person, a woman, expecting her to say something.
The middle-aged woman merely adjusted the white pearls that hung around her throat and flattened a crease in the white polka-dotted blue dress that reached her bare ankles. The two men went back to talking.
"Although we all agree that he must die, we should still determine it righteously. That is to say, we should still go about the process of justifying his execution." The man in the suit said.
"You're right." The painter said. "So, what did he do?"
"He killed her."
"Who?"
"You know who."
"Yes but for the sake of justification, we must state exactly who he killed."
"Why, there is no one here to hear it but us, and we already know."
"You are scared of speaking her name, aren't you?"
"What? That's ludicrous!" Then suddenly, the woman began to speak. Her voice was clear, crisp. It echoed through the warehouse as she spoke.
"You are both pathetic. You are afraid of speaking the name of your own lover, and you are so inept to kill a man that you must verbalize some sort of justification."
"I'm not afraid to speak her name! I just don't see the point!" the painter yelled. While he did so, the man in the suit stood completely still, shocked.
"Wait, what do you mean 'your lover'?
"I mean the woman he loves, what the hell do you think I mean?"
"You bastard, that was my wife!" The man in the suit screamed at the painter.
"Your wife? She was my wife!"
"What the hell are you talking about, you son of a bitch!" As the man in the suit spoke he ripped open his suitcase and yanked out the pistol that he had contained in it. One, two, three, four, five shots rang out, echoing in the depths of the warehouse. The painter fell to the floor, the paintbrush that he carried rolling out of his hands. It was stained red. With paint or blood, none would know.
As the man in the suit stood, poised, with his arm outstretched, holding the smoking gun, he slowly cocked his head toward the woman. She was crouched down, one hand over her head, the other fingering the white pearls around her throat. Sure that the gunfire was over, she stood, shaking.
"What was your wife's name?" Her voice quivered as she spoke. Right as the man spoke, lightning flashed outside and thunder roared as the first raindrops fell on the tin roof of the warehouse. His voice was lost in the noise. "The painter's wife was named Michelle, you fool."
The man in the suit was dumbstruck, he fell to his knees in utter awe.
"I killed him. I killed him for no reason." he slowly turned his head to the body laying inert on the floor. Once his gaze finally fell upon the lifeless corpse, he was suddenly animated. Leaping up, he grabbed the gun and pointed it at the lady. "And you saw it. You saw it all. I should kill you. I have to kill you." The woman staggered backwards, studdering.
"W-wait," she stammered, "I w-won't tell anyone. I p-promise. It's not my fault he's dead, you're the one who refused to say her name. If you had only s-said your wifes name then y-you both would have realized that th-they were two different people. It's not my fault." The mans eyes widened and his pupils dialated as this utter truth roared through his brain. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. The rain had increased to a deafening roar as it slammed against the tin roof. It's all your fault. It's all your fault. "NO!" he screamed. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" The sound of the bullet flying out of the barrel of the gun and ripping through the lady's body was lost in a sudden deafening clash of thunder and lightning. When she fell her necklace broke, her pearls spilling out onto the cement floor and clattering about. The man in the suit took off his sunglasses, revealing bright pale blue eyes. He waited for the last pearl to stop rolling before shoving the gun back in his breifcase and trudging out into the rain.
10.24.2006
thesis and research
Okay Ms. Chiang, here's my thesis: "Director Richard Linklaters film 'Waking Life' is a cinematic masterpiece. Its philosophies, theories, and ideas are amazingly intricate and provocative. It is a work of art that has exceeded its fullest potential." I think my thesis is fine, but I am having problem with subtopics. There are about 34 different encounters and scenes in 'Waking Life' and I want to talk about probably 20 of them. maybe more. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
the afterlife -journal
I don't really care what happens to my body after I die. I'm not saying I don't beleive in the afterlife, but I'm not saying I do. If there isn't an afterlife then it doesn't matter, and if there is an afterlife then I don't beleive that what happens to your body will affect your soul or whatever it is that travels to the otherworld. The thing is, I don't really understand why there would be an afterlife. At least, not a traditional one. From what I hear, all you do when you go to heaven is sit around with a bunch of virgins and drink wine. It serves no purpose. I mean sure it's nice that God wants us to feel good after we die, but what's the point? You can't do anything in heaven. You can't affect anything. No, if there is an afterlife it would be a useful one. There would be a reason for us to continue consciousness after we leave our bodies. From what I hear, there isn't. That's why reincarnation makes more sense to me than Heaven. At least there's a point to it. But at the same time, reincarnation can't be true because the world population is constantly rising. Where are all the new souls coming from?
10.23.2006
what are your disadvantages/weaknesses? -journal
I think one of my weaknesses is that I am not good a talking on the phone. I never know what to say. People are always on the phone with me and they always say "you're so boring" or "why aren't you talking Will?" and stuff like that. I don't really know why, but I just don't like to talk on the phone. It bores me. I also am very quiet and don't talk much around relatives. They scare me. They always ask you all these stupid questions that they don't actually want to know the answer to but say them anyway just for the sake of talking. We had a family reunion on my last day of summer. At least twenty people asked me if I was "ready" and if I was "excited". I never really knew what to say to that. I usually just end up saying "no" and walking away as fast as I can. I hate family reunions.
10.16.2006
a-z biography
All of my life I have been a
Boy.
Could I have been anything else?
Don't worry, I couldn't have. I will be a boy for-
Ever and ever. i don't really remember my
First word, but I have been told that it was
"Gaga."
How is that even a word?
I guess it is. I dunno.
Just pretend it is. Looking bac
K on my childhood I remember constantly playing a-
Lone, by
Myself. But I wasn't lonely, I just was very solitary.
Now that I'm a teenager, I feel like a different pers-
On. The traits that I
Possesed as a child have
Quietly disappeared. I like very different things. I
Remember I was a total fantasy RPG nerd. I thought it wa-
S Sooo cool. Now I don't dislike it, but I don'-
T do it either. I gave
Up playing Magic: the Gathering. That as a
Very sweet game. I still have all my cards. I
Was trying to sell them at one point. It didn't work.
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You know the Comic Company up by North Dekalb Mall? They got
Zapped. That used to be Magic central. Now it's just another fading memory...
Boy.
Could I have been anything else?
Don't worry, I couldn't have. I will be a boy for-
Ever and ever. i don't really remember my
First word, but I have been told that it was
"Gaga."
How is that even a word?
I guess it is. I dunno.
Just pretend it is. Looking bac
K on my childhood I remember constantly playing a-
Lone, by
Myself. But I wasn't lonely, I just was very solitary.
Now that I'm a teenager, I feel like a different pers-
On. The traits that I
Possesed as a child have
Quietly disappeared. I like very different things. I
Remember I was a total fantasy RPG nerd. I thought it wa-
S Sooo cool. Now I don't dislike it, but I don'-
T do it either. I gave
Up playing Magic: the Gathering. That as a
Very sweet game. I still have all my cards. I
Was trying to sell them at one point. It didn't work.
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You know the Comic Company up by North Dekalb Mall? They got
Zapped. That used to be Magic central. Now it's just another fading memory...
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